This is difficult to hear but it’s good for us to be aware of what this does to a child long-term. Also, what it does to those who witness the abuse of a sibling. Deb and I now know our father made it clear our step-father was not to touch us and he did not. He was mean to us, glaring at us, sometimes refusing to allow us to eat. Let’s just say, I didn’t cry when he was killed. Mom was full of guilt as well. It literally ate her alive. Mason says she has no love for her mother and I have to say, I don’t think I felt love for mine either. I don’t miss her and didn’t feel sad when she died. We don’t talk to her side of the family at all anymore and that’s fine because peace is a good thing. I’m also a withdrawer. I retreat into my special place. It’s a place in my mind that allows me to shutout everything around me, which isn’t a good thing either. I’m just glad it only happens when I’m in a dangerous situation or feel as if things are out of my control. I had to shut out my stepfather beating my brothers and my mother because it was so traumatic.
I understand Mason and Jordan blocking pain because I completely retreat. This is dangerous because if I was crazy, knowing I can retreat and be unaffected by the things around me is uncomfortable. Inside there is fear but externally I am numb.
I’m with TJ about trump, graham, Jordan and all the republicans that help him continue to occupy the White house, a criminal. They are racist and on AM Joy, they were having a discussion that leads to the fact his supporter are racist. It is what binds them and feeds their madness. HATE!!! And the evangelicals tie their racism to their faith, teaching them that wealth is God. Finally they are seeing it. The evangelical’s god is MONEY!!
