I say damn, who is that ugly dude. I thought they told me I was cute!’
I know about the secondary ways of seeking inner peace, I have taking part in using these methods. They don’t last and I am glad I did find a more permanent way of obtaining peace of mind. I have to say I have met far more negative people in life than positive and it puts a strain on how you relate to others. I think I had parents that are negative more so than positive. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about my parents at times. I want to say they were good but they had these major issues that I found disturbing. I don’t like racism I never did. I was the cause of a huge strain on my relationship with my father. I met Sir Paul and he was frankly the father I always wanted. He was fair, open-minded, easy to talk to, he listened he didn’t always have to be the one talking or the right one. I do agree with Mason, it is hard to be a man in this society but Sir Paul managed quite well. It’s harder when you don’t grow up in a well-rounded family.
I’ve had one run in with a person that made me feel like danger was very near at hand. I wasn’t the target but I had the feeling anyone near the target was in danger. He was stocking one of the females I worked with. She was terrified and it wasn’t hard to see why. I try to be scared and back down but I’m not good at it. Everyone moved away from her except me. He told me to get my pretty ass out the way and I told him not to let my looks fool him. He told me if I wanted to keep my good looks I would mind my own business and I told him he made it my business when he brought it into my place of employment and if he wanted to keep his life he’d get the hell out of my way. He drew back, smiled, and as he prepared to move toward me I got in my battle stance. That stopped him and he seemed to realize I meant business. I was unable to show fear and I didn’t. He nodded, told her they would see each other again, and he backed away. He was arrested and I’m not sure what happened after that but he never bothered her again. She kept thanking me and we dated for a while after that. I dated a lot of women what can I say.
There was a time when I didn’t pay much attention to the women I dated. I just didn’t care that much. I was indifferent and I’m not sure why. I think it had something to do with my mother. I met Mason and my life changed, Mason, Marc, and the whole gang. I’m grateful I was saved. I think we do need to work on that sixth sense thing too, Sir Paul was big on that.
Uncle…you’re fine. It’s not that it was done so coldly, it’s that she never reached out to you afterward so she did what was in her heart to do. She wants us to feel sorry for her and she says she thought she had to do what she had to do to please her husband but that shit just isn’t washing with me. I’m sorry I’ve seen that cold side of mom at other times, I just keep my distance and I keep my kiddos away as well. I never want them to witness it. She’s good she has my brother and my father’s side of the family. But you know both of us are upset my brother just isn’t as intense as me. He’s laid back and easy going. I’m high strung and intense. I’m glad mom never had any daughters. I don’t think they would have turned out very well because of the coldness in her. She’s accepted that I want little to nothing to do with her and I’m glad. It’s all good. My dad has apologized and I accept it, it’s just too little to late for you Uncle, the damage has already been done.
