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TOPIC: Comfort Within!

Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3652

  • Vicki
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I’d like to say I also loved Becca. We were friends and I was very upset when she died. She had a sweet side and she lashed out when she was really hurt. She was hurt because her father did not accept her and he did not accept her children. She took it out on them but deep down she knew it wasn’t their fault. Becca didn’t always know how to handle her anger so I agree with Karen, she needed and deserved help when she was young, then she needed her father’s love and support when she became an adult struggling with mental illness. Shawn, love you mother. In her way she loved all of you, she just didn’t know how to mentally handle. Understand she had a disability.

I know that using some of the substitutes in an attempt to take the edge off can and usually does sharpen the edges. It’s like putting a band-aide on a wound that needs stitches. I do hold women responsible for the harm and sometimes deaths of their children by the men they are involved with. I get sick of seeing children left with boyfriends come into the hospital with serious injuries caused by the boyfriend abusing the child while the mom is at work. I’m sick of woman acting like they don’t or didn’t know this man is or was capable of harming their kids. They knew they are leaving their kids in harms way. They just don’t want to take responsibility for their children’s safety. I think they should go to jail and face the same charges as the man who abuses or abused their kids. I told a woman last week she was responsible for what happened to her three old son. I told her she knew her boyfriend was a danger to her son and at first she tried to get angry but then she just sat down and cried. I told her that her son depended on her to protect him right now and that man wasn’t worth the life of her son. She stopped saying what happened to her son was an accident and told the authorities she believed her boyfriend was abusing her son. He was arrested and she asked her sister to help her move out while he was in jail. I was impressed and I was glad he sister nodded and agreed to help her.

We know what kind of person we are dealing with especially when we are intimate with them. I agree women need to stop needing literal verbal confirmation when we know in our hearts, and the none verbal ways things are communicated scream things are the way they are. Marc is right, stop denying responsibility for what is known in the heart.

I think fine tuning our senses is always a benefit and I’m certainly going to start working on fine tuning mine.
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Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3658

  • Loreen
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Karen, I love you and I agree, Becca needed help early in life. Hearing you say some of the things you have said has made it easy for me to forgive her and mourn her. I feel she wasn’t given a fighting chance. I remember her crying at Caleb’s service and she actually hugged me and told me she liked my singing. I saw a Becca that knew love, that was good. I’m in tears right now because suddenly I see a good girl struggling to come out and stay out.
We had our run ins and she said some racist things but she wasn’t racist. She called me the “N” word followed by bitch and I told her she was a “N” bitch. She laughed and stuck out her tongue and told me she was going to kick my ass. I said bring it. She got in my face and told me to watch my back, I told her I can’t but I could watch hers. The cold stare softened and she asked me if her ass was getting to fat. I told her now she was still a skinny hoe, and she nodded and patted her head, the girl was crazy but she was funny too.

I read this article and I knew all too well about the secondary ways of taking the edge off. I had a father that loved to take the edge off and torment us in a drunken rage. Mason I think black men struggle with societies expectations of men quite a bit. They aren’t really allowed to be men it looks like, all over the world. I really appreciate what you said. It was so beneficial to and for me. You think people don’t listen to you…yes, we do. We hear you woman. We don’t always speak it but we are listening. Read our none verbal forms of communicating. :lol:

Karen after listening to you, Brad and I sat down and had a serious talk. We can’t let this happen. We can’t take each other for granted and we have to make sure we both, along with our kiddos, know how they feel matters. Beyond that, I’ll be fine-tuning my skills y’all! I think it’s going to be fun.
I haven’t had any threatening encounters and I’m not sure how I’d handle something like what Shawn went through. That is down right scary.
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Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3662

  • Deb
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You know what Loreen, you’re right. I have to admit I always had to ask myself did we just have words or was Becca being silly. She liked getting in your face and it did make me laugh when she did it. And she was always threatening to kick somebody’s ass. All the time and wasn’t big as a minute in a half. Was her ass getting big, please!
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Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3665

  • Mason
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I loved Becca and I miss her.
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Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3668

  • Niobi
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Me too I love to her she hug me all the time she sweet.
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Comfort Within! 8 months 4 days ago #3671

  • Karen
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Thank you for remember good things about her. I loved her so much. She was so beautiful.
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