I have to confess I’m really all right now that Jim is gone. So much of what I did was to please him. Sometimes I did things I didn’t really agree with because it kept the peace in our marriage. I wanted to get help for Becca when she was young but he insisted she was fine and we were at odds in during the time between her death and his. I loved my husband but he did not always hear me, or show a willingness to consider my point of view or my emotional comfort. Jim was a fair and just man but he was an old fashion man, he believed a man was the head of the household and the final say in that household. I watched my daughter grow worse and worse because he refused to accept that she was suffering from some serious mental disorders.
Yes, I blamed him for Becca’s death and he knew it. I also blamed him for all the lives she disrupted and I meant it. I refused to shoulder the responsibility with him because he refused to hear me when it would have mattered. When no one would have been hurt. When she tried to kill Justin I thought I would die. My child did this, my child abandoned children. I said children Mia and Shawn. You have three siblings that survived, the first child she had she killed. Becca had six children by the time she was 21 and Mia you are not the only biracial sibling born to your biological mother. Jim refused to search for the others.
Becca never paid for murdering and infant. She had a problem and it should have been addressed instead of ignored. Benson was her karma and I was glad it was finally over. No one else would be hurt but I want to know where my three living grandchildren are. I want to know if they are all right. I need to know if they need me because now…NOW I can help them which is something I really want to do.