Everyone this is the thread for November.
We will be discussing the primary topic in Fall's meeting, honesty. We are being true to ourselves, and that means we have to be true and speak truth to others. If there is anything we have held as a secret it's time to come clean especially if another was hurt in any way because of the secrets or our unwillingness to share it with those who were hurt in some way.
The Lord is good as he showed me in a dream what I needed to share with someone who was hurt by something I did. I was a child and that someone was my sister. As you all know we were abused children. I was angry with my aunt because I witnessed her pushing my little brother down the stairs and when she told me my mother wouldn't believe me if or when I told her I knew she was right. I had a mother who didn't pay what we said any attention. She had no time for us and never listened to us about anything. What she did listen to she threw in our face whenever she felt it was time to emotionally traumatize us.
Anyway, I wrote something on a wall in a basement bedroom. I was hanging out with my friends and came into the house in time to hear my sister about to be beaten for it. I ran up to tell my mother who was in an upstairs bathroom combing her wig. I told her my sister didn't write on the wall, I did because my aunt pushed my brother down the stairs. She didnt't hear me and that's when I realized she tuned us out even our cries and how hard we were being hit by her husbands. She tuned it out, she told me to get away from her or to go away because my aunt told her my sister did it and she believed her. My aunt was grown so of course what she said matter. My sister was beaten for nothing and I told my mother I hated her and hoped she died. I meant it with ever fiber of my being and I hated her for years. I don't love my mother now. I care about her but I do not love her. My love or any love I might have had for her eased out of me as I exhaled and it never returned. It can not be repaired as my sister was severely beaten for something she did not do.
I told me sister I was the one who wrote on the wall, our aunt knew it was me, and she lied on my sister and my sister was badly beaten. Now my aunt immediately felt regret for what she had done not realizing how bad my sister would be beaten but not even she could save her once she told her lie. It was traumatizing to all of us, but that was just one of many beatings we were all subject to at any given moment growing up in my mother's house.
After all this time it really hurt my sister and for that I am sorry, but...but, I am not sorry I told her.