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TOPIC: Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart?

Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2814

Jazze
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OMG

Mike is too funny.

Benevolent here but I went through it when I was a teenager. I think I gave my poor dad hell. I to wanted to hang with the in crowd. Why is the in crowd always a bunch of bad ass kids? I also felt myself being pulled back before I did something I would regret for the rest of my life. I want to ask you Kay…was a point ever when something told you to not go any further. Josh had that, Mason did as well, and so did Linden. They all heard a voice as did I, that told me not to go any further.

I am really glad I listened because most of the people I so desperately wanted to call friend are doing bad, or dead, or in prison. I have always attracted good people all my life even when it irritated me. Now I’m glad. I do have representatives and they do come forward when I need them most. I know I would hate to wake up and be in a relationship with a man like Benson. My heart goes out to Ashley and all women and children in similar positions.

The person I admire most is Mark. I think he’s a great leader and it’s so natural.

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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2815

Shawn
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Mike, you are also a serious warrior bro.

.

Kay, I’m glad you are sharing what you were feeling with us because we all wondered what the hell was wrong with you. I do know how it feels to want to fit in. I went through that in my life. I never did fit in so I finally gave up but I felt bad about myself. I felt like no one wanted me, and then I was sucked in by a group of racist and they welcomed me. It’s how I met my first wife. Talking malevolent and hateful, join a racial fanatic group and you’ll see nothing but raw hatred that makes absolutely no sense.

I to went so far with this and I know I had to back out because I never shook the feeling it was stupid and senseless. It also caused something inside of you to boil and want to strike out. I mean a feeling of rage comes over you and you are sucked into what is going on around you. I see how the white hate groups would go out and burn down churches, burn crosses, and ultimately murder black people. They tell themselves they aren’t human and it makes it easy for them to treat them bad. I think Lawrence O’Donnell put this in to perfect words a couple nights ago. I really like him.

I found my birth mother and despite all the bad she did she did guide me to my wonderful grandparents and that saved my life. I was able to see the benevolence in me despite my troubled past. I began to pull away from my racist wife. And I actually made friends with a black guy I worked with which sent her through the roof. Well I like where I am right now. I’m where I belong. I most admire my grandparents for staying true to themselves despite all that they have been through.

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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2816

Tina Offline Premium Member Posts: 143 Karma: 3	Kay, did it hurt you that you were hurting your parents so much?
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2817

Val
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Kelton you are indeed a warrior. Uncle Mike you do remind me of Ares I’m sorry you do. And Kay he told my ex something similar. Mason you did make that worse

. Kay…I’m just glad you can look back on all of it and understand what happened. I think you deserve forgiveness because I remember going through something similar when I was a young girl. I think at some point we all hook up or are drawn to the bad cool kids. The good thing is we break away and get out bearings.

Shawn I’m really glad you saw the light because racist extremist are the cancer that eats away at American society. Linden and Brice. I’m so glad you both survived and I know how it feels to be involved with a malevolent man or partner. My first husband was a beast and I barely escaped with my life. It was a very terrifying time in my life. I went to bed every night wondering if it would be my last night. I fully believed he was capable of killing me, he had choked me until I passed out several times. He would hit me so hard and took pleasure in knowing he was hurting me. You can do nothing but cry in pain and at some point the fear he was going to kill me over road the pain and I was totally terrified. I don’t know what would make him stop when he stopped but he always abruptly stopped, and then the threats would come. So, I completely know what that feels like and my soul cries out for all those in similar situations, especially children.

The person I most admire is my Uncle Mike and my Uncle Nick because ultimately, they saved my life and gave him a taste of the fear he kept me constantly consumed with.

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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2818

Kay
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Jazze, I did hear a voice tell me to stop and it was loud but I refused to listen to it. I wanted to be like my friend. It was all I cared about, being like her. Then the time came when I wished the voice would come and tell me to stop but after a while it said nothing and I just got worse.

Tina, a part of me cried when I made my mother cry but that mean part of me would not back down it stronger and grew out of my control but it was me. I think when you don’t control a bad habit or behavior it takes you over and grows until you can’t suppress it no matter how hard you try.

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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2819

Aaron
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Okay Mike I can see the flames dancing in your eyes as I laugh my ass off. You know, when you got upset once it was a very frightening thing. I just stayed back. I was amazed at how well the McGinnis’ handled the situation. If you didn’t know we all just stepped back and let them handle the situation. I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side I tell you that much. Kay I’m glad you are better now.

The closes I have come to killers are those associated with my grandparents. They kill hope and dreams in those less fortunate and I wouldn’t be shocked if I was told they have actually killed people. I had to leave shortly after Ryan and Casey left because I didn’t like what I was seeing how I was feeling. I remembered how happy my parents made me but I didn’t know how to come back. I’m glad they embraced me.

I also know I do have representatives and now I’m using them less. I used them most when I was with my grandparents. I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t and I didn’t want to be there most of the time. I just pretended I was content. I know the difference not and I can be myself. I like myself.

Knowing there are people out there who have suffered the way Ashley, Val, and many others have suffered is a very painful thought. I personally wish I could save every child in an abusive situation, every female or male in an abusive situation.

I most admire my father and doc Jess because they hold us all together.

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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart?