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TOPIC: Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart?

Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2766

  • Rod
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I have some snob tendencies as well. I learned to curb this behavior from Sir Paul. As wealthy as he was he had no tolerance for certain behaviors. He did not care for my parents and they avoided him as much as possible. I do hide behind representatives, partly because it was a way to cope. Growing up in my home was not easy and I was an only child. By now you have all gotten several descriptions of my parents. All true. I had to call on the strength of other parts of me many times just to make it. I like being who I am at my core which is a very benevolent person. Honestly, I think we all are that’s why we are together. Benson didn’t fit in. He honestly stuck out like a sore thumb.

Growing up I attracted malevolent people like my parents but when I broke away that changed. As I found myself the rift between my parents and I widened and now it is a chasm between us that will never be filled. To much has happened, there is too much pain. My parents are the malevolent people I know but the benevolent people or person I most admire is Kelton. I mean Mark, Luke, and Mike are up there too but there is something about Kelton that I just am drawn too. He is a good man.
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2767

  • Carmine
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Why thank you Mason! :cheer:

Yeah, he was the guardian and I was the bruiser. :lol:
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2768

  • Rocky
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I think Mark is cute when he snobbish too Niobi. I’ve seen it often and it’s not offensive at all. He is convinced of who he is and it shows. That kind of confidences naturally draws people. You just want to be near him because he makes you smile.

I think I’m benevolent, a gentle giant. For most of my life I was surrounded by sharks. But I found UE or this group and my life was forever changed. Benson is the only murderer I’ve even known personally and it is chilling knowing he was as bad as he was. Most of you know my story and like Mike I struggle being anything or anyone other than who I am at my core. I guess I missed the schizo gene jay. I admire Mark of course and Mason, all the McGinniss’ actually. Sorry Jay to hard to pick just one.
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2769

  • Justin
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Na Mark is not the arrogant one, that would be me. Man am I arrogant. I’ve come down of my pedestal now and I’ve seen some things that have forever changed my life. I use to be an asshole and my intentions weren’t good when I found the Ephesus group, especially when I learned Mason was only half white. But the opposite happened. I read UE and some of that arrogance melted away. I only purchased it because I thought the cover was cool. I told you, I was arrogant. I think my history proves I wasn’t a very benevolent person. I won’t say I was malevolent but I wasn’t a nice guy either. I didn’t marry the two women before Ebony out of a love connection. My first wife was beautiful, a model and that’s all she ever was to me. Becca was beautiful and could have been a model. Ebony is beautiful and I am with her because I, first the first time in my life, felt something. It was deeper and it’s only getting stronger. I don’t know if I could live without her. sometimes I just hold on and hope I am the man she wants and needs me to be.

Jay sometimes it’s not the woman who is in danger. Becca took me completely by surprise. I never saw what happened coming. I knew she stabbed me but there was no pain because I couldn’t believe she did it. I will never forget the look on her face. Now that one had some real altered egos. Benson made me uncomfortable too. After Becca did what she did something inside me is always on guard. I definitely prefer to be around benevolent people and I’m glad those are the kinds of people in my life. I most admire the Judge and his wife. Beautiful people both of them.
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2770

  • Ebony
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Ah baby you are all of that and more. I love you so much Justin.

I know I have representatives because I remember when we were talking about loud women, well I’m too quiet, timid even. Mason encourages me to sing because she thinks I’m a good singer. My core self is benevolent, timid, and often shy and afraid. When I appear brave that is a representative. For most women this happens because of something that has happen in our past, something traumatic. It is so for me as well. I witnessed my uncle beating my aunt and knowing he was killing her but I was powerless. I froze in immediate fear. I some point I released an ear-piercing scream which brought help but my aunt did not survive. I think I screamed the minute I knew she was dead. He just fell to the ground and crawled away from her lifeless body. That’s what happened to my mother’s oldest sister. He’s in prison to this day going for first degree murder but remain because he’s killed while he’s in prison. He is pure evil and it’s raw. Seeing it was very traumatizing for me I was eleven I think. I didn’t talk for a long time after that happened. It caused me to withdraw and it turned me away from black men.

When JR spoke about somewhere a woman is in danger of being beaten cringed. I knew what that was all about. I have some friends and family that I have to ask myself about all the time. I feed them with long handle spoons, and I prefer to be around people who are like me. I most admire Mason. She is my strength and I love her very much.
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Are we more Malevolent or Benevolent at heart? 5 years 10 months ago #2771

  • JackeeM
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I know I am a benevolent person and like Ebony I do know I have representatives. One of them is Will, and from time to time Will comes out. Will is my brave strong personality and when things are hectic I allow him to sit in the driver’s seat. Most of my family met me when I was Will, literally. Nico discovered I was Jacqueline, a female after we were married. He found something I never knew was there and my life forever changed with the realization. This is why I never doubt my husband loves me because he married me when he believed me to be a man. He said he always knew and I believe that too because he was clearly right. For those of you who don’t know, I was born a borderline hermaphrodite. My father, having two sons, decided he’d have a third and I started my hormone treatments that made me a male. Well I was always a girl and I felt like a girl. Anyway, I do have some personal experience with multiple personalities.

I think what really got to me was bad people who hide behind fake nice personalities and they are really evil people at their core. I agree just the thought of a child or a woman being cornered by an evil person just makes me tremble inside. I know it’s going on all over the world and it is something that sickens me. I agree it is so cowardly to the point of being pathetic.

I would prefer to be around benevolent people and usually that is the type of people I attract. I guess I can spot the malevolent ones and I recoil and back away. I would have to say the person I admire most is Jay sorry, you, the McGinnis’, and Barack Obama!
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