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TOPIC: The Truth

The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2338

  • Ryan
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I understand what my sister is saying totally. I never cared what was said. I loved my father and my mother and that was enough for me. What my biggest lesson was, began with a girl I went to high school with. She was my first love and I was blind. When they say love is bling that was definitely me. She was sleeping with me and four other guys and she gave me VD. I forgave her for that, then she got into an argument with one of the guys that was so embarrassing for me. I don’t know why. Perhaps it was because I knew what she was but refused to accept it. I was consumed with how good she made me feel sexually. My favorite song was “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” by TLC. In the back of my mind I knew if I didn’t get it together she was going to take me to my final resting place but I was addicted. I finally had enough when she left for a long while, giving me time to gather myself. I didn’t know where she went she didn’t even say good-bye. She returned but only for a short time as news spread fast she had given birth to a child believed to be her fathers. I finally realized why she was so good sexually. He had been raping her since she was 10. She said it started out with just touching and then he made her give him oral sex. When she turned twelve her birthday gift was losing her virginity to him and he began to mold her into his perfect lover. I couldn’t be mad at her but the lies and the secrets tore their family apart. I don’t know where she is today but I do hope she is happy. I have to say, secrets do hide some of the ugliest deeds. Oh, her father committed suicide when his wife left him. I’m not sure if she didn’t know what was going on but once he was exposed she turned her back on him and it was more than he could bear.
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The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2339

  • Lydia
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Well, men aren’t the only ones with these kinds of problems but I’ll say it does depend on what one is exposed to as a child. My mother was sexually abused by her uncle and raped when she was sixteen by a friend’s father. I don’t think she ever recovered and my father paid the price for it. She never told him any of this and he was left to wonder why she had moments when she was downright impossible to live with. If not for my dad and his family I fear we would have turned out bad. Mom is crazy that’s a fact. What happened to her destroyed her inside and she never recovered. She is not bitter and cold and I’m not sure anything or anyone can chisel the ice that has formed around her heart. My point is sometimes the secrets people keep eats away at them and they become empty shells pretending to be normal. They never fully recover from the deed they keep hidden in the recesses of their minds.
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The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2340

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Well, my daughter summed it up. My first wife was a mess and she messed us up for years. I’m glad we survived but not only was her shit lasting, and scaring, it continues. She also remarried, had a couple kids, and is divorced. It appears like me, she had an affair and this time it was with another family member. I honestly wish people like her could have some kind of sign posted on them that warns others she us damaged goods. But as it’s been stated, her shit wasn’t the first I dealt with that was deeply damaging. Pop was the first. I was totally shocked he was married to someone else, learning of it on his death bed. It made many things clear to me but I don’t speak much to my mother today who is still alive, because she is equally as guilty, and I will say in my first marriage I married a woman just like my mother. I did not make that mistake twice and need I say she does not approve of me or my brother’s current choices in wives. She says she does not want to see our children and I told her she need not worry about that every happening. In fact, she could feel free to continue going on as if she never had a son named Christopher. I am more than good with that. You, see that’s not the only lie mom has told, it’s not the only secret she kept from us. She’s a cheater and cheaters cheat. UE revealed one of the other secrets if you all caught it. We have a sister. She was put up for adoption, Michael found her years ago, and she was fine in the life she has with her adopted parents. We have nothing to do with her and I’m good with that as well.
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The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2341

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Well, wow. I can’t begin to tell all of you about how much secrets and lies devastated my immediate family. My father had a friend that was always checking me out. I’m the only girl I have two brothers. Well he managed to find some time alone with me and he raped me when I was fifteen. I told my father and he told me I was lying. My mother just sat there. My brother took me to a clinic and the confirmed I had been raped and that’s why I went to stay with my aunt and cousin Ebony. My dad told me to keep my lies to myself or he would kill me. His friend has a prominent job and I honestly think my father helped arrange what happened to me. I believe I was on my way to becoming a sex slave for my father because it wasn’t long before he was driving new car and they were suddenly out of debt. I did not keep the secret from my aunt and uncle but we knew there was nothing anyone would do about what happened to me because of this mans position, his job. My father has cancer and tried to reach out to me a few months ago and I told him I didn’t care to have anything to do with him.

My mother is still with him and as far as I’m concerned, she knew all about it. I am gone and I am glad. They can’t come see me, they know I don’t live in the US anymore but they don’t know where exactly I live. I think they are in financial trouble again and they need me again. I was broken but I was made whole because I wanted to be whole. I think women like Chris’ mom don’t want to be whole. They use their past as an excuse to be the mean nasty people harboring what happened and allowing it to rot away at their souls.
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The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2342

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Amen to that Rhena. That’s what was wrong with mom. I heard her sisters talking to her about it when I was eight or nine. They had an uncle that raped here and her mother refused to believe her brother did something like that to her. I think our mother allowed the whole thing to eat away at her until it literally rotted her soul. I know something like that can’t be easy but it has to be dealt with and put behind a person. Even if a parent refuses to accept, admit, or do anything about it, the victim has to find the strength to put it behind them and not let it be a part of their lives for the rest of their lives. But secrets are very devastating. My older brother told me Deb and I weren’t our father’s kids. He said mom was sleeping with a man for money and me and Deb were the results. I asked her about it before she died and she refused to answer me. Well one of my aunt told me dad agreed with it because they needed the money. This is why he would get drunk and call mom a whore and beat her. Even though he agreed with it he clearly wasn’t happy about it. My aunt says he told her to let me die when I was real sick as a child. My brothers weren’t going for that though so here I am. Deb…we are half white as you now know, and I know who are sperm donor is. You remember that man that got out of his car and told us to stop riding our bikes in the street? We did it but we both grumbled about it and he told us he had every right to tell us what to do and we thought he meant because he was white and we were black. Well, it wasn’t that at all. Secrets and lies Damn!
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The Truth 6 years 2 months ago #2343

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Yeah, I know bro…he told me. He told me he told you too so I didn’t say anything to you. I didn’t believe him until he told me to take a blood test and I finally did. I’m real disgusted Ben. You are named after him too. His name is Benjamin as well. It’s something I’m coming to grips with to this day. So much makes sense now, like why we are so light skinned. He says dad was sterile and none of mom’s kids were dads. That’s why he beat her Ben…she was a cheater.
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