I grew up thinking I was my father’s son. I found my faith and realized I am nothing like him. I looked in the mirror later and realized the person deep inside of me could not stand the views of my father and those like him. I avoided the mirror because I didn’t like what I saw. I walked away while I bushed my teeth, looked strictly at my beard when shaving, refusing to look into my eyes, nervous about what I would see there. Would I see my father? I didn’t want to see him so I avoided looking all day every day. I know they can’t stand looking at themselves. I know how they feel. I found myself when I saw myself. At first I saw my father when I finally looked in the mirror. Something told me to keep looking and because of my faith, I did. Soon I saw my mother, my uncles and tears rolled from my eyes. My grandfather and Mother G smiled at me and I wept. I couldn’t look away so I kept drying my eyes Mother G told me I was free and I realized my five minutes had expired. I stepped away but not before I saw me.
I don’t share the racist views of my father and those like him, it’s ugly and a hatred that is all consuming. I was not a prisoner of hate, Mother G told me I was free. Freedom opened my eyes to the ugliness of racism and Chauvin showed the world what it looks like it is so very ugly. The people who attacked the capital showed us the face of hate. It is ugly.
I was single because I am and always have been attracted to black and brown women. I could now find my wife and fight for what I knew to be true, right. That is what all of this has done for me.
girl you was fine too. 
Stop it Mason!!! Don’t be checking me out like that. 
