Okay…I clean because when you are an abused oppressed child, you look for things you can control in you world. I realized I could control my area. I could keep it as clean as I wanted so I did. It is how I control my PTSD that I will suffer from all my life.
I am a germaphobe, something that has evolved from past relationships with promiscuous men. I have had something called Trick twice in my 20s due to the men I was supposed to be exclusive with, sleeping with other women. That is all I’ve ever had but I had a sister and some girlfriends who had the more serious STDs and I never wanted to smell like that.
My mother didn’t teach us girls to take care of ourselves. I had to learn along many things on my own, about personal hygiene. My mother didn’t emphasize hygiene from brushing teeth to cleaning in all the cracks. I had to learn via experience. I don’t like bad body smells, not even sweat. I admit I’m excessive and it’s because it is the one thing I can control.